나를 묶고 가둔다면 사랑도 묶인 채 (flyintoheaven) wrote,
나를 묶고 가둔다면 사랑도 묶인 채
flyintoheaven

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Rewind, reset, replay.

Title: Rewind, reset, replay [1/?]
Author: flyintoheaven
Rating: PG
Pairing/Focus: Taemin
Summary: Taemin's worried about what being a trainee will entail.


18 July 2006

The day had almost come. Taemin was less than 24 hours away from stepping foot into the SM Entertainment building, and getting his first taste of what being a trainee would entail. It was not the actual start of being a trainee; rather it was registration day.

Ever since receiving the acceptance letter, Taemin had been toying with the limp piece of paper every night. He would pick it up from his desk, skim through the words that had grown all too familiar to him, then set the piece of paper carefully down. This cycle happened continuously, until it became like clockwork to him.

He didn’t know whether this was what he really wanted to do. (Is this the reality you want?)

Sure, becoming a dancer had been his lifelong dream. He had been prancing around the living room for enough years of his life to know that he had talent, and he wanted to be able to show that knack of his off. If he went along with the plans SM Entertainment had in store for him, he would be molded into a solid dancer, with skills that would be beyond his years.

But what if he didn’t accept?

Acceptance into such a world-renowned entertainment company was undeniably one of the rarest opportunities anyone could be given. Actually, these chances were not given. They were earned. Every person handpicked to be a trainee had something special in them, as well as the drive to strive for perfection. Hard work got them to where they were.

But Taemin was starting to doubt his decision. If he did enter as a trainee, it would mean missing days of classes at a time. It meant no more lunchtime breaks spent with friends, no more putting fake spiders on the teacher’s seat, no more staring out the window, observing the swallow that was building it’s nest with fresh twigs and grass in the century old oak tree in the courtyard. Those were the things that meant the most to him as a student – as a person.

Going forward as a trainee meant leaving a portion of his past behind him.

He wasn’t sure he was ready to take that huge leap forward. Any thirteen year old in their right mind would rather be kicking soccer balls around a field than subjecting themselves to hours of exhausting dance practice everyday. But you’re not one of them, Taemin. You’re one of a kind. Go where no one has gone before; push your boundaries. He shook his head vigorously, his copper hair bouncy as he tried to stop that annoying voice in his head.

He sat there, lifeless, on the bed. He wanted to cry so badly.

19 July 2006

Waking up to the smell of kimchi, Taemin turned over in bed, dreading the day. He never wanted to leave the comfort of his bed, his sanctuary. His cell phone alarm started ringing then, blaring an obnoxiously deafening pop song. He slammed the snooze button, stuffing his face in the pillow.

His mother walked into his bedroom, without knocking. Taemin muffled something about whogaveyoupermissiontoenterwithoutknockinggetoutidontwanttowakeup, but his mother ignored his childish attempt to throw her out, and settled herself at the side of his bed. She sat there for a few quiet moments, taking in her son. When did he grow up into such a determined young man? When did his find his direction in life? She worried about how the company would treat him – whether they would feed him properly and fatten him up (this boy was as emaciated as they could get), whether they would drive him to train so hard he broke down physically and mentally, whether they would use physical punishments on him if he didn’t follow instructions.

Then she took a deep breath and the worries flowed away. She remembered her conversation with one of the ahjummas at the wet market who sold fish. The ahjumma’s niece had been taken into another major entertainment company, and now was only weeks away from her debut. Apparently the staff there favored her for being committed and diligent, and particularly took care of her.

She needed to remind Taemin to be hardworking, and get on the right side of all the people there.

Taemin flopped onto the bed, his lanky arm slamming into his mother’s thigh. His pupils dilated in shock.

“Umma, what are you doing here? You didn’t even say a word,” Taemin gave her a weird look, knowing that her silent state foreshadowed a heart to heart talk.

“I just wanted to watch my son before he leaves us, is there something wrong with that?” She leaned down to brush his unkempt fringe away from his eyebrows, then leaned down to plant a kiss on his forehead. “This family will miss you when you’re gone, Taemin-ah.”

“I’ll miss you guys too,” Taemin whispered, before he fell back to sleep.

08 30 hours

The entire morning whizzed past like a blur to Taemin, as he struggled to get out of bed and get dressed decently. He vaguely remembered stuffing down a couple of mouthfuls of kimchi (only mouthfuls because of his lack of appetite), and then was pushed inside his father’s car, where he was now in the backseat.

The view outside the window grew hazy; the car was speeding to reach its destination on time. Taemin felt void of emotion, like he no longer cared about what happened to him. He draped himself over the back seats, limp like a string puppet left by itself. The life in him had been sucked out. He was simply a vacuum - with nothing left in him, not even the air to breathe – personified.

The car came to a momentary stop at a stoplight, and Taemin’s father drummed his fingers on the dashboard impatiently. “The lights at this junction always take ridiculously long to change in our favor, it’s as if the imbeciles in the traffic authority don’t care about us at all!” His wife patted his back gently, helping him calm down. His impatience wasn’t doing anything for Taemin’s growing anxiety.

Taemin’s body lunged forward when the car jerked to a start. Damn, that hurts, he muttered when his forehead banged against the seat in front of him. Rubbing his sore forehead, he looked at the letter of acceptance he balanced on his lap. Registration was happening sooner than he had ever imagined.

“Taemin, we’re here.”



A/N: For the prologue, click here.

Finally got around to starting the series of Taemin's life in SM, starting with him being a trainee. Thanks for all the positive feedback the last time! I have no idea where this story will end up, but I think's fun letting it take me where ever it goes. Hope you like this one :-)

Oh no, there's another fanfic with almost the same name :-/ if the original author sees this and minds me using this title, please leave a comment and I'll change it ASAP.
Tags: fanfic
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